had just started to swell up over the years and began to flow like a torrid volcano that was out of control.

No matter how much I empathized and understood his predicament, what was happening to me; to us, to our child wasn’t right.

I needed to get myself out of this large hole that I had dug…I needed to find some salvation, some inner peace, and a new way of being ‘alive’. Lucy deserved a mother that would protect her, and I could not do that here, no matter how much I would try to fool myself that he wouldn’t hurt me again.

It would only be a matter of time that he would attack me again and perhaps one day he might hurt Lucy and I couldn’t let that happen.

I had to find a way out… one way or another…