I sat on a nearby bench and watched young families with their children. I reflected for a while and wondered if my husband would have been different if a child was in our world. Perhaps he wouldn’t hurt me anymore knowing I was carrying his child. Perhaps the pain and abuse would cease if there was a child in our home that kept him happy and occupied. Perhaps the child would take the focus away from abusing me. These were all thoughts that would run through my mind on a daily basis.
I stared at the children running around the local park and watched them with their parents…wishing one of them were mine.
Perhaps if that was the case then we could be whole. Perhaps then we could begin again. Perhaps our marriage would survive, and we could go back to being in ‘love’