know who I was anymore. I was beaten and submissive and lost myself to him and trying to fix our marriage which was the most important thing in my life.
We decided to try to get pregnant and despite not fully being in a good place mentally or even spiritually I felt this was what our marriage had needed for us to survive. We tried for the next year to try to get pregnant only for my periods to be even heavier than before. My body was worn and tired as if the life from me had been sucked out. Each period seemed to anger and frustrate my husband who refused to accept that the issue could lie with him. I got even more verbal abuse and hardships as he got his entire family to repeatedly berate and insult me for not being a woman as I had not produced an heir to his wonderful throne!