fail. If it meant losing myself in the process; then so be it.

I couldn’t let myself fail.

Eventually I cancelled the divorce and things went back to the way they were between us for a little while. I promised myself a year of change; if there was no change; no improvement I would certainly file for divorce again. I guess in the back of my mind I knew I needed to protect myself if things went wrong again. I was cautious understandably so. I had my first real wakeup call that all wasn’t so rosy and beautiful as I thought it was.

Several months passed and small ripples of past behaviour from him started to ripple through again and broke every illusion that I had in my heart that he was in our marriage again for the right reasons.